51É«APP

The men’s group has been a lifesaver for many of us – ordinary men in Oldham, who are just trying to getting on with our lives as much as possible.

When I was first diagnosed with t-cell lymphoma skin cancer in December 2014, I was told I would die with it, not from it. 

I knew it could be treated with steroid ointment and an emollient and I thought, ‘Well if that’s my brush with cancer, I’ll be okay.’ 

And I got on with my life.

Tests and treatment

It wasn’t until the summer of 2019 that I noticed my flow of urine had slowed down when I went to the bathroom, so I went to get this checked out at my GP surgery.

Sadly, following some tests, it came back that I had prostate cancer and it had metastasised, which meant that it had spread. It was also in my lymph nodes around my prostate area and that meant I needed to have both chemotherapy and radiotherapy.

This was a lot more serious than my skin cancer and I felt like I had a lot more to think about.

I went on to have chemotherapy and radiotherapy for my prostate cancer and my treatment for this is ongoing because this cancer is treatable but not curable.

Following chemotherapy for my prostate which finished before Covid, in August 2024, I became aware of feeling breathless when I hadn’t previously. 

Further checks and a scan showed that I had pleural mesothelioma in my right lung. 

This was caused by me having worked with asbestos, a long time ago, as a young apprentice.

Fortunately, my wife Pauline had worked for the NHS as a health visitor and on the clerical side before she retired, so she has always come to my hospital appointments with me. 

She has been right by my side asking a lot of questions, and she51É«APP™s made sure we had all the information about treatments and support that I could be entitled to.

51É«APPing the men's group

I was also fortunate that I found Maggie51É«APP™s men's group not long after I was diagnosed with prostate cancer.

When you’re diagnosed with a cancer like that, it really does feel like you’re going into the unknown. 

I thought it would be a good idea to be able to chat to people outside of my family about what was going on. 

My family were great but I didn’t want to upset Pauline and everyone else with all of the details of what I was going through. I’d also heard that Maggie51É«APP™s had oncology experts, who could offer support.

When I first came into Maggie51É«APP™s in Oldham, I had a chat with one of the staff and they suggested that I might like to join their men's group. 

At that time, the group was very small but it has now become so popular that we can have up to 19 people attending on a Tuesday morning.

Not everyone comes every week – usually about 8 or 9 make it along. For whatever reasons, people might have appointments or other stuff on, but all 19 of us are in a Whatsapp group outside of Maggie51É«APP™s, and we know we can tap into that if we51É«APP™re having a bad day for peer support and a bit of banter too!

Friendship and connection

The men’s group is great because two Maggie51É«APP™s cancer support specialists, Catherine and Suzanne, facilitate it and direct the chat so that it’s helpful and not dominated by one single subject or person every week.

We genuinely talk about everything in the group – football, family, holidays, restaurants and holiday insurance. 

We often have lighthearted and more serious discussions, and we discuss cancer too. In particular, if someone having a bad day, the group will try to lift them up.

It can sometimes get a bit emotional but most people will say that they always leave Maggie51É«APP™s feeling better and feeling more hopeful, and they’re glad that they’ve made the effort to see everyone.

A big topic that we often discuss is living in the moment. 

Men don’t generally talk to their friends like this, but we are a group of men who can because even though we may have different types of cancer, we have all been through or are going through many of the same things.

We are able to share our thoughts and feelings, worries about life, family and the future. 

Cycling and raising money for Maggie's

The men's group allows us to have that friendship and connection, whereas old friends that we51É«APP™ve always had, might not know what to say at all.

We also organise regular outings for the group – we51É«APP™ll go to the football and out for curry, and we go out walking. 

We51É«APP™ll even go to museums and art exhibitions in the city – we do a bit of everything really and we sometimes do some fundraising for Maggie51É«APP™s too.

I'm actually one of five in the group, who are taking on the Tour de 4 Chris Hoy cycling challenge to raise money for Maggie51É«APP™s this year.

I wanted to do this last year but couldn’t due to treatments and appointments but myself, James, Peter and Wayne from the group and Wayne51É«APP™s friend Steve (who doesn’t attend the group) have all committed to travel to Glasgow this September to take on this challenge to raise funds for Maggie51É«APP™s. We want to be able to give something back for all of the support that Maggie51É«APP™s has given us.

Cycling is one of my big hobbies now. As a teenager, I loved riding a bike and I took up cycling again in my retirement.

At the age of 82, I love getting out on the bike most days, out in nature and on bike trails. 

I used to play a lot of golf and I enjoyed bell-ringing too, but it was difficult to try to fit all of this in between hospital visits for various treatments.

It can all get a bit time-consuming with the various different appointments; however, fortunately for me, my treatments are keeping my cancer supressed and stable – and with regular check-ups to monitor progress – this means I can continue to go out on my bike.

I think with the onset of any cancer, you have to remind yourself of what you can do and prioritise what you want to do. 

For me, that’s now my cycling and being there for Pauline. I would say to anyone living with cancer, do the things you have energy for and that you enjoy to get the most out of life.

Not letting cancer consume me

I try not to let my cancer consume me. 

I have a routine where I box up all of my treatments into the days when I need it and then I put it away and only bring that box out as it's required. 

I don’t leave medicine sitting around in cabinets for everyone to see. I feel that if I don’t have to think about cancer until later that day or that week, then I don’t need to have these reminders in front of me.

With cancer rates rising, I would encourage other men to take steps to protect themselves and get themselves checked when checks are offered. 

It’s your health and your responsibility. And finding things earlier can often make for better outcomes and treatment easier. 

There is always help and support out there if you do need it.

Support like the men's group has given many of us a friendship group out of something nobody wanted to belong to. But we are all very grateful for that friendship – and we are all very mindful of living in the moment and doing as much as we can with our families.

Support for family and friends

Maggie51É«APP™s has helped take the strain off our families too by being able to give us that much needed space to talk and helps take the pressure off.

Pauline and I even recently went on a holiday again to Spain when we hadn’t gone away for a number of years, and that really was great for both of us. 

Maggie51É«APP™s even helped with that – by putting us onto ‘Insurancewith’ for cheaper holiday insurance  â€“ that’s just another thing we are very grateful for.

We51É«APP™re here for you

Our cancer support specialists, psychologists and benefits advisors are here for everyone with cancer, and all the people who love them.

Come and see us at your nearest Maggie51É«APP™s, call us on 0300 123 180 or email us at [email protected]